Finding Your Church Home

Hi and welcome to our third lesson in the First Steps of Faith course! In this lesson, we're going to talk about finding your church home.

Hi, we are Candy and Carolyn, mother and daughter instructors for this course. We are eager to jump in and tell you a simple way to find your church home.

As a new believer, you may have heard the gospel in a particular church, and so it seems natural to join that congregation now that you are saved. Or maybe your salvation experience came alone in your apartment and you don’t really know which church you should attend, or even if you need to go to church. Can’t you just attend online? And there are so many pastors online telling you other pastors are “false prophets,” who do you believe? 

How do you choose where to attend church? Is church attendance that important? What about all the different denominations? How do I know which one is “right?”

I am so glad you asked!! 

First, let me say that The Ruby Tent does not promote one denomination over another. Though we have our preferences, we provide information so that you can discern which one is best for yourself. Thus, we will not be sharing a “right” church for you to attend.

However, we do have some practical tips that you can use to help you make this decision. We also will talk about why attending church is so important.

Some of you may be even thinking - I already have a church that I love. Why do I need to know how to find a church?

We are so happy you have that church home and we encourage you to grow where God has planted you and become active in that congregation. You may be there for your lifetime, but you may only be there for a season. We never know in advance what God has in store for us in our walk with Him. Just like He told Abram (before he was Abraham), "Go forth from your country, and from your relatives and from your father’s house, to the land which I will show you" (Genesis 12:1), He might tell you that one day as well. Notice that God told Abram to go without telling him where he was going. God might one day tell you to go, and you need to be prepared to say, "Yes, Lord" without second thought.

Carolyn: My first experiences of having a church home were churches that my mother found for our family. What about you, Mom?

Candy: Well, as a girl I walked down the street to church where all of my friends went. It was the 50s, so walking alone as a teenager to church was not unusual. As an adult, Carolyn's father and I traveled extensively and I experienced many different churches, and it was interesting to see all the differences.

Carolyn: Recently, my husband and I moved to be closer to my work. Although we loved our home church where we got married and had been members since our daughter was born, driving 45 minutes to get there became impractical. We felt God calling us to plug in somewhere local so we could involve ourselves more in our own community.

Caveats

In this lesson we are going to look carefully at how to find the right church for you. But let's lay a little bit of a foundation for what we are going to say first. We are not advocating one denomination over another. Each have their strengths and weaknesses, as they are ultimately created by man. We believe that there are fundamental aspects of the Gospel that cannot be compromised, and that there are other issues that are a matter of preference and interpretation.

Second, we believe that you should be a member of The Ruby Tent and enjoy the fellowship of other Christian women from around the globe, but we do not believe that membership in our community takes the place of joining a local church body. We hope that you will enjoy the benefits of both!

Lastly, many churches offer online services. While it's wonderful to access church online when you can't be there in person, attending in person provides a different level of intimacy and connection. If you can, prioritize being physically present to experience the full benefits of church community. This is why we encourage you to find a local church body in which to become active.

Welcome to
First Steps of Faith: Learning to walk with Jesus
online course

In our first video in the course, we looked at an overview of the course and what you can expect. If you missed that video, you can watch it here.

Our first lesson was on the foundational practice of prayer - talking to God. You can catch up with us by viewing that lesson here.

Our second lesson was on reading the Bible. If you need to catch that lesson, you can find it here.

👉 If you would like to sign up for the full course, delivered to your inbox, you can sign up for it here. https://therubytent.com/firststeps-course

Here’s what you can expect:

• Weekly emails with video lessons for each aspect of the faith that we will discuss.

• Regular check-ins throughout the week to touch base with you and see how implementing that building block is going.

• Private Facebook group to discuss what you are learning.

Want to dig even deeper?

You can purchase our Companion Devotional with 5 daily devotionals for each of the building blocks of faith. That is five additional lessons on this topic alone that can help you dig even deeper into these lessons. First Steps of Faith Companion Devotional Kit (therubytent.com)

This devotional uses our T.E.N.T.™ system to help you learn even more about each aspect of faith and to apply to your life. Through Teaching, Enrichment, Nurturing, and Thankfulness, you go from learning about these first steps, to actually taking them.

Won’t you join us? https://therubytent.com/firststeps-course

Ok, let’s dive in and find you a church home!

With every lesson, we begin with the “why?” We are not about doing things that are pointless here in The Ruby Tent. We are moms and businesswomen, so we have too much on our plates to worry about things that are not essential. If we could just watch a church service online while washing dishes and getting ready for the upcoming week, or while at our child's soccer game, trust me, we would! But we KNOW that it is not the same as joining with our church family in person to worship our Savior. So...

Why should we attend church?

God tells us not to forsake the assembling together with other believers. (Hebrews 10:25) That means that He wants us to regularly spend time with other believers, worshiping Him.

But why?

God created us to be in community. From the beginning, God said that it was not good that man should be alone. (Genesis 2:18) If the relationship with God was enough so that man was not ‘alone,’ God would not have decided to make Eve. But God did not intend for man to be in relationship with just God. We were made to relate to God individually AND as a community. Science has shown that our brains are actually wired for social connection, which makes sense if God literally made us for it.

It is through working and worshiping together that we operate in the fullness of what God intended for us. The Bible calls this being the “Body of Christ.” It is an analogy to explain how we are called to work together as a cohesive unit to bring glory to God. You need the encouragement and support of other believers and they need you. “God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose” (1 Corinthians 12:18). Being a part of a church is about fulfilling our role within the Church - the Body of Christ.

Another reason we should attend church regularly is simple - Jesus did. If we are to follow Him, and be called His followers, then we must do as He did. And He went to the temple regularly. Luke 4:16 tells us, “He went to the temple, as was His habit.” Just as we discussed building the habit of Bible reading, you should commit to building a church attendance habit and not let things keep you from going.

What about practical challenges of attending?

We said you should commit to building a church attendance habit and not let things keep you from going. And they will! Satan does not want you to attend church and worship God. There will be fights with your spouse, children who don’t want to get dressed, events that come up on Sunday morning, work obligations that arise, and even the “just don’t want to’s.” 

Our advice is to determine if this is a situation where you don't want to go (mad at your spouse, clothes don't fit right), or a situation where you cannot go (physically ill). Whenever possible - go to church even when you don't feel like it. As Carolyn's pastor says, "Sometimes we are providentially prevented from attending, otherwise we should be present." 

Apologize, dress the kids, rearrange the work schedule, talk sense into yourself, and go anyway! 

It will be hard. I am not about to tell you otherwise. It is building a habit and that will take determination. But God will reward your faithfulness and obedience.

Whenever possible, go to a local church in person. Online church is great for many reasons and seasons, but we do not believe it replaces worshiping with other believers in person. Attending church will give you a chance to meet like-minded believers. You will begin to build a family - older people who can be ‘parents/grandparents’, and men and women who will become brothers and sisters.

If you cannot physically attend, whether for a single morning or for a season, this is where watching online can be an answer to prayer. You can join in the conversation, sing, and listen to the teaching from wherever you might be. Even if you have to watch at a different time, such as when you have to work during the service time, having that option is a blessing of technology.

How to Find a Church Home

The key is where God leads you. What does the Holy Spirit say? However we've come up with four elements that you can use to help guide you in listening to the Holy Spirit.

If you live in the southern United States, like the two of us do, then you know that there are more churches than streets in many towns. There is even a “Church Street” in most towns, named such because of the number of churches in that location!

Thus, to find a church right for you, attending each one in town will probably not be the best method. We will use the acrostic T.E.N.T to help you find the best “tent” that is right for you.

In the Old Testament, God refers to the place where He would meet with the Israelites and where they would worship and offer sacrifices, as “the tent of meeting.” That is what we are finding for you, a “tent” where you can meet with other believers since we now can meet with God anywhere we are thanks to Jesus’ resurrection and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit.

🫶 This is where our name comes from - we are a tent (gathering place) full of rubies (women of worth) - a Ruby Tent! 🥰

Here are the four elements of finding your T.E.N.T. to help guide you:

1. Theology: What does the church believe and teach? Ensure their beliefs align with Scripture, especially regarding who Jesus is and the nature of salvation.

2. Energy: The church's vibe should match your energy level. Whether you prefer a lively worship service or a more reserved atmosphere, find what suits you.

3. Nourishment: Look for programs that help you grow spiritually and personally. However, even if a church lacks specific programs, it might still be where God wants you to be.

4. Testimony: What does the church say about itself, and what does the community say about the church? Consider its mission and emphasis.

Let’s look at each one in more detail:

T - Theology

Theology refers to what the church itself believes and teaches about God. If you are curious about what a different denomination teaches, you can go online and find their doctrinal statement or their statement of faith. If you go to https://therubytent.com/about you will find our Statement of Faith. It tells you what we believe about God, Jesus, and the Bible. 

By reading the different doctrinal statements, you can learn about the differences between different denominations, such as Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran,  or Presbyterians, for example. Besides the denominations’ doctrinal statements, individual churches will have statements as well, and there might be slight differences from the denomination. Be sure to check out the church’s website or talk to the pastor or a church elder about the church’s theology.

Though there will be differences between the statements, there are two main theological issues we believe you should look at to determine if this denomination is following scripture.

First - what does the church say about who Jesus is? Ensure that the church affirms that Jesus is the Son of God, fully man and fully God, who died, was resurrected, and is now alive. 

Second - what does it say about salvation? We believe that any church that says salvation requires anything other than Jesus’ sacrifice is adding to scripture. We believe in salvation by grace alone through faith alone in God alone.

These are the two key elements we would recommend that you look at to determine whether that church's theology matches scripture.

⚠️ Remember that what is on the website might not be what is preached from the pulpit. After all, churches are run by humans and not all are doing what they should do. That is why it is so important to attend in person, and not make a decision based solely on what you find online. Make sure that your research is backed up by what actually happens during the church services.

E - Energy

The E stands for the energy of the church. Each church has a certain vibe. Some are very formal, some are loud and full of energy, and there is every variation in between. Certain denominations are even known for typically having a certain energy. For example, Presbyterians are typically more formal, as are Baptists. Non-denominational churches tend to be more casual. But these are just generalizations that may or may not hold for the specific churches in your area. And different energies is GOOD! If every church had the same type of energy, we would have to like it or leave it. But different churches have different characters which allows us to find a church where the personality that God gave us fits into the energy of that church! Some of us are quiet, some are formal, some are loud, some are casual. All of those things are good! So look for a church whose energy matches your own. Here is where attending the church in person will be one of the few ways to truly know if the energy is a good fit for you.

There are many things that influence the energy of a church, but two that stand out are the music and the preaching. Is there a live band or just a piano, or something in between. Is the preacher loud and charismatic or quiet and reserved? Again, neither is better than the other and is just a matter of preference. However, you are not going to go to a church each week where you do not like the music or how the pastor preaches. Choose one you enjoy!

N - Nourishment

The N stands for nourishment. This refers to the types of programs and ministry opportunities that the church has. What will allow you to grow and to serve in this church? Maybe you are looking for a youth group, a singles’ ministry, a women’s group, childcare, or mission work. Do you want to help support missionaries or serve in your local community? Do you want regular Bible studies or times for fellowship?

The key is not necessarily what the church has to offer, but is it a church where you believe you can grow in your faith and serve the Lord.

This means you need to make sure that the church is growing as well. If you walk in and everyone is sour-faced and grumbling and the attendance has been dropping steadily for months (or years), RUN!

Do not neglect the fact that you need to be pouring into the church as much as they are pouring into you. Church is not for your entertainment. It is for your spiritual development, and that includes learning how to serve. Even if you are young or a new believer, or both, you can serve. My six-year old helps pick up the hymnals after Sunday’s service. There will be somewhere you can plug in.

T - Testimony

The T stands for Testimony. This refers to the story of the church—its history, mission, and the impact it has on its community. Understanding a church's testimony can help you discern whether it aligns with your own spiritual journey and where God is calling you to serve.

Start by learning about the church's history. How was it founded? What is its mission and vision? These elements can give you insight into the church's core values and long-term goals. A church with a clear mission, focused on spreading the gospel and serving others, is likely to provide a strong foundation for your spiritual growth.

Look at how the church is perceived within its local community. Is it known for its love and service, or does it have a reputation for being closed off and unwelcoming? A church that actively engages with its community and is known for its positive impact can be a sign of a healthy, vibrant congregation that loves each other.

Different churches have different areas of emphasis. Some might focus on missions and outreach, sending members to serve in other countries or local communities. Others might prioritize evangelism, with a strong focus on spreading the gospel. Some churches might emphasize service, with numerous opportunities for community service and helping those in need. Understanding the primary focus of a church can help you determine if it aligns with your own passions and spiritual gifts.

Listen to the stories of the members. How has the church impacted their lives? Personal testimonies can provide powerful insights into the church's effectiveness in fostering spiritual growth and community. If you hear stories of transformation, support, and spiritual nourishment, it's a good indicator that the church is a nurturing environment.

Remember, church is not just about what you can receive but also about what you can give. Reflect on how you can contribute to the church's mission and community. Whether through your time, talents, or resources, your involvement will be an essential part of the church's testimony.

Your church is God's Choice

Ultimately, finding the right church home involves prayer and seeking the Holy Spirit's guidance. As 1 Corinthians 12:18 says, "But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose." Trust that God will lead you to the church where you can grow, serve, and be a part of His mission.

God will guide you to the right church. It's crucial to seek His direction and be open to His leading. Every church is made up of sinners saved by grace, so be patient and prayerful in your search.

We would love to hear your stories and support you in finding a church home. Join us in the Ruby Tent community, email us at [email protected], or find us on social media @therubytent. We are praying for you!

Want to continue your study with the next video in the series? Watch our lesson on finding Christian friends HERE.

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