Ironically, I had been celebrating “pride” throughout the month of June my whole life!

Pride and the Rainbow

As someone who formerly identified as a lesbian, Pride Month hits differently now.

June is my birth month, and for most of my life, my favorite month of the year. A month that began with school ending and celebrations of me, then continued with nothing but fun and doing what I wanted. Even as an adult and an educator, June continued being a month that was the beginning of fun, vacation, and celebration. Doing what I wanted, when I wanted.

When I began my first relationship with someone of the same-sex, June took on a whole new meaning. Oddly, I hated it being “Pride Month.” I was told I should celebrate who I was - but I knew in my soul that this wasn’t who I was, it was what I was doing. I also never felt like celebrating something that I knew God would not celebrate, even though I was blatantly involved in that lifestyle. I can remember telling my girlfriend, “Ok, I will be in a relationship with you, but I am not marching in any parade!” And I meant it. Celebrating “pride” always felt, well, icky.

Ironically, I had been celebrating “pride” throughout the month of June my whole life! Celebrating me and what I wanted above all else, even when I was not in a same-sex relationship.

Pride is believing that you know best, that what you want to do is what you should do. God showed me that the root of my sin was not sexual immorality, even though that was the specific behavior. The root was pride. I wanted to do what I wanted and I didn’t care what anyone else said about it. But if Jesus is Lord of my life, I have to do what He says I should do, regardless of what I think or feel about it. It is trusting that I do not know best, but He does. Trusting Him and “leaning not on my own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

“Keep me from the sins of pride; don’t let them rule me. Then I can be pure and innocent of the greatest of sins.” Psalms 19:13

This was the sin that God had to root out of me. If I was going to be transformed into the likeness of His son, Jesus, He had to eradicate my pride. He had to show me that I was no better than anyone. That except by the grace of God, there go I.

Pride month actually led to the destruction of my pride! Praise the Lord!

My surrender to Jesus was about surrendering my will and accepting His will for my life. Trusting that He loves me and knows what is best for me.

Now, Pride Month makes me sad for my fellow image-bearers who have been deceived by the enemy as I was. This month, instead of celebrating with ‘them,’ or rallying against ‘them’ - pray they will know Jesus and His immense love. Remember that they are not “them,” but us - people God created in their mother’s womb and with whom He longs to be in fellowship.

Every time you see a rainbow this month, remember that it is actually God’s sign in the sky that He loves us and will not destroy us. Remember that this is what those caught in the sins of sexual immorality are longing for - the very promise that the rainbow symbolizes - love and belonging. Yet, they are not willing to surrender and accept that love and belonging, in their purest form, only come from the Creator of the very symbol they splash everywhere.

Use the rainbow as a visual reminder to pray for anyone caught in these sins, and a promise that God does not want to destroy us, but He loves us - yes, even those who are caught in these lies of the enemy.

“And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11).

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